Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky.
In the first two books alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, itchy clothing, a disastrous fire, a plot to steal their fortune, a lumpy bed, a deadly serpent, a large brass reading lamp, a long knife, and a terrible odour.
In the tradition of great storytellers, from Dickens to Dahl, comes an exquisitely dark comedy that is both literary and irreverent, hilarious and deftly crafted. Never before has a tale of three likeable and unfortunate children been quite so enchanting, or quite so uproariously unhappy.
In this classic storybook about lifelong learning, Reynolds inspires learners of all ages to navigate their full potential and follow their dreams. Narrated by Tim Curry with music by Tony Lechner. Includes a bonus interview with author Peter H. Reynolds. A co-production of FableVision Studios and Weston Woods Studios.
A smart, funny junior novelization of Despicable Me, an animated movie about "world's greatest villain" Gru, coming from Universal Studios in Summer 2010!
Read by the incomparable Tim Curry
And so begins the story of one of the most beloved characters in children's literature, "Peter Pan." J.M. Barrie's classic tale, completely unabridged, features a boy who refuses to grow up, Tinker Bell the fairy, and the Darling children -- Wendy, John, and Michael. Their great adventure begins on the night that Peter flies into the Darling home looking for his shadow and teaches Wendy, John, and Michael how to fly with him back to the Neverland, where adventures happen every day.
Journey back to Neverland in the first-ever authorized
sequel to J.M. Barrie's timeless masterpiece, Peter Pan
The Special Trustees of Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children, who own the copyright to the movie Peter Pan, marked that work's centenary by authorizing the creation of a new novel that would share the same characters as the original, and bring as much pleasure to children and adults around the world as Peter Pan has done. The result of a worldwide search to find just the right author for this special sequel is this - Peter Pan in Scarlet by the renowned and multi-award winning Geraldine McCaughrean.
Set in the 1930s when the devastating effects of World War I are still resonating throughout the world, Peter Pan in Scarlet sets listeners on an unforgettable journey fraught with danger. All is not well. Dreams - nightmares - are leaking out of Neverland as it chafes against the Here and Now, wearing holes in the fabric in between. Somehow Time is moving on where Time was never meant to. Fearing for Peter Pan's life, Wendy and the Lost Boys find their way back to Neverland - with the help of the fairy, Fireflyer - only to discover adventure waiting in ambush and their worst nightmare coming true in the most unexpected of ways!
Dear Listener,
You are presumably looking at the back of this audiobook, or the end of the end. The end of the end is the best place to begin the end, because if you listen to the end from the beginning of the beginning of the end to the end of the end of the end, you will arrive at the end of the end of your rope. This audiobook is the last in A Series of Unfortunate Events, and even if you braved the previous twelve volumes, you probably can't stand such unpleasantries as a fearsome storm, a suspicious beverage, a herd of wild sheep, an enormous bird cage, and a truly haunting secret about the Baudelaire parents.
I also shouldn't mention the features of the interactive CD, which include:
Perplexing word games Photos from The Lemony Snicket ArchivesArt from The Brett Helquist galleryIt has been my solemn occupation to complete the history of the Baudelaire orphans, and at last I am finished. You likely have some other occupation, so if I were you I would drop this audiobook at once, so the end does not finish you.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
After any harrowing struggle, it is nice to consider checking into a hotel for a rest. In fact, this might be just the break Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire could use after their wearying deep-sea adventure.
A hotel can be a good choice for any family vacation. With so many floors, such a variety of rooms, and a curious array of guests, spending time in the safety of the right hotel can be the perfect learning environment for children of any age. A keen researcher like Klaus, an adept inventor like Violet, and a sharp-toothed culinary master like Sunny are all sure to find engaging diversions during their stay.
Regardless of how they pass their time while at a hotel, the three siblings will be sure to take in all the interesting sights and sounds -- and write them down -- just in case this episode turns out to be the darkest yet in a series of unfortunate events.
Like a car alarm, bagpipe music, or a doorbell ringing in the middle of the night, hearing this all-new audio edition of The Bad Beginning will only upset you. This unique multi-voice recording brings the first book in Lemony Snicket's alarming A Series of Unfortunate Events to such terrible life that no one should really have to experience it. Unless you have an ear for such ghastly details as a tragic fire, a nefarious villain, itchy clothing, and cold porridge for breakfast, all narrated in chilly detail by the distinguished, and disturbed, Tim Curry with a team of talented readers, you would be better off listening to something else.
Featuring Tim Curry
DISCLAIMER: The long term effects of listening to this audio are unknown. Scientists have detected slightly higher rates of panic, fright and free-floating anxiety amongst listeners to this audio than that found in those listeners who engaged in more pleasant listening activities.
Dear Listener,
Like handshakes or housepets, many things are preferable when not slippery. Unfortunately, in this miserable volume, I am afraid that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire run into more than their fair share of slipperiness during their harrowing journey up -- and down -- a range of strange and distressing mountains.
It would be best not to mention any of the unpleasant details of this story, particularly a secret message, a swarm of snow gnats, a scheming villain, a covered casserole dish, and a surprising survivor of a terrible fire.
Unfortunately, I have dedicated my life to researching and recording the sad tale of the Baudelaire Orphans. There is no reason for you to dedicate yourself to such things, and you might instead dedicate yourself to letting this slippery audio slip from your hands into a nearby trash receptacle, or deep pit.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
Dear Listener,
Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp. You might also prefer not to listen to this audiobook, in which the Baudelaire siblings descend into the depths of despair, underwater. The horrors they encounter are too numerous to list, and include mushrooms, a mechanical monster, a distressing message from a lost friend, and tap dancing.
I also shouldn't mention the features of the interactive CD, which include:
l Perplexing word games l Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives l
l Art from The Brett Helquist gallery l
As a dedicated author who has pledged to keep recording the depressing story of the Baudelaires, I must continue to delve deep into the cavernous depths of the orphans' lives. You, on the other hand, may delve into some happier audiobook in order to keep your ears and your spirits from being dampened.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
Dear Listener,
The word carnivorous means meat eating and this carnivorous volume contains such a distressing story that consuming any of its contents would be far more stomach-turning than even the most imbalanced meal.
It would be best if I didn't mention any of the unnerving ingredients of this story, particularly, an unruly crowd, a wooden plank, and Chabo the Wolf Baby. I also shouldn't mention the features of the interactive CD, which include:
Perplexing word games
Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives
Art from The Brett Helquist gallery
Sadly for me, I continue to research the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, but your time might be filled with something more palatable. With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
Performed by Tim Curry
Dear Reader,
If you have just picked up this audio, then it is not too late to put it back down. Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be found in these pages but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to read.
Within the chapters of this story, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire encounter a darkened staircase, a red herring, some friends in a dire situation, three mysterious initials, a liar with an evil scheme, a secret passageway, and parsley soda.
I have sworn to write down these tales of the Baudelaire orphans so the general public will know each terrible thing that has happened to them, but if you decide to read something else instead, you will save yourself from a heapful of horror and woe.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
