Dear Listener,
If you have chosen to listen to this audio for pleasure, I advise you to put it down instantaneously, because of all the audios describing the unhappy lives of the Baudelaire orphans, The Miserable Mill might be the unhappiest.
This recording contains such unpleasantries as a giant pincher machine, a bad casserole, a man with a cloud of smoke where his head should be, and coupons. If you prefer stories that are more heartwarming, please feel free to make another selection.
I also shouldn't mention the interactive features of the CD, which include:
* A perplexing word game
* Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives
* Art from The Brett Helquist gallery
I have promised to record the entire history of these poor children, but you haven't, so please feel free to make another selection.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
Dear Listener,
I am sorry to say that the lives of the Baudelaire orphans, Violet, Klaus and Sunny, are filled with bad luck and misery. All of the stories about these three children are unhappy and wretched, and the one you are holding may be the worst of them all.
If you haven't got the stomach for a story that includes a hurricane, hungry leeches, cold cucumber soup and a doll named Pretty Penny, then this audio will probably fill you with despair.
I also shouldn't mention the interactive features of the CD, which include:
* A perplexing word game
* Photos from The Lemony Snicket Archives
* Art from The Brett Helquist gallery
I will continue to record these tragic tales for that is what I do. You should decide for yourself if you can possibly endure this miserable story.
With all due respect,
Lemony Snicket
Freddy is certainly an extraordinary pig by all accounts. Although he spends his time oversleeping and overeating just like a normal pig, he also finds the time to daydream, enterprise, and even write poetry! Always full of new ideas, he proposes that the animals of Bean Farm start a tour company. Promoting himself to president of Barnyard Tours, Inc., Freddy arranges an expedition to the frigid Arctic. Freddy, Jinx the cat, Eeny the mouse, Robert the dog, Charles the Rooster and a host of other animals travel all the way to the North Pole. Unfortunately, their plans freeze as they encounter a pack of polar problems--but at least they get to visit Santa Claus! Between 1926 and 1958, Walter R. Brooks wrote 26 books on the adventures of Freddy the Pig. Considered to be one of the greatest characters in American children's literature, Freddy still enjoys enormous popularity today, and his timeless tales are considered to be the American equivalents of the Pooh stories.
Friends Forever!! At least it seemed that way for three little mice, until Horace and Morris become part of an exclusive boy’s club. Where does that leave poor Delores? She tries to be a part of a girl’s only club, but she doesn’t have fun and she misses the fellas. Soon, all three friends balk at these gender stereotypes that are keeping them apart! Bold artwork, charming characters, and a splendid telling combine in this lively protest against conformity that children will embrace!
The barnyard animals are tired of being cold in the winter. Since Farmer Bean doesn't have enough money to patch the holes in the barn or heat the chicken coop, they are migrating to Florida for the winter. Travelling to the beat of Freddy the pig's funny songs, they meet with one adventure after another. They find gold treasure to take home to Farmer Bean in the spring. Florida is fun, except for the time when alligators try to eat them for lunch. Only Freddy's cleverness lets them escape with their lives. Writing during the first half of the 20th century, Walter R. Brooks captured the idyllic America that disappeared with the 1950s. Fans remember him as the creator of Mr. Ed, the talking horse of television fame. His tour-de-force was his set of 26 Freddy books, all espousing the values that people still want for their children: loyalty, sharing, and forgiveness. John McDonough's delightful voice captures the humor and genius of this timeless creation.
For Jason, entering the seventh grade is like walking into a dangerous new world. Now that he's in junior high school, he's a small fish in a big pond stocked full of ninth-graders. It's so scary that he won't even go to the bathroom if there's a ninth-grader in there-no matter how badly he has to go! But it isn't all bad. He's working on a model space station in shop class, and he's beginning to notice things he never paid attention to before, like body hair-and girls. Especially one girl: the beautiful, hair-flicking cheerleader Debbie Breen. This wonderfully realistic audiobook, written by Newbery Award-winning author Jerry Spinelli, attracts teen-aged readers with its combination of honesty and embarrassingly funny situations familiar to every teenager. Johnny Heller captures Jason's emotional roller coaster ride as his boggled mind tries to keep pace with his friends, family, school, and his changing body.
Megin is 12; her brother Greg is 14. Megin is a slob; Greg is fastidious. They call each other Megamouth and Grosso. Between the two, the household is filled with their teasing and fighting. They are experts at the usual games of sibling rivalry and experts at inventing new ones. From carefully-planted cockroaches to creme doughnut fights, Megin and Greg's antics keep them in constant trouble. But even as they think up new ways to bug each other, they are also growing up. Soon, their rivalry will put them both to tests that have higher stakes than either Megin or Greg can imagine. Jerry Spinelli, a Newbery Medalist, has raised six children, so he has plenty of firsthand information about kids like Megin and Greg. This energetic audiobook is a riotous trip through the early teenage years, especially with its dual narration by two of the most spirited readers of children's literature.
The Great Brain is Tom D. Fitzgerald, aged ten. The story is told by J.D., a sometimes confounded but always admiring younger brother. Such people as Mr. Standish, the mean schoolmaster, regret the day they came up against The Great Brain. But others, like the Jensen kids lost in Skeleton Cave, Basil, the Greek kid, or Andy, who has lost his leg and his friends, know that Tom's great brain never fails to find a way home.From the Trade Paperback edition.
Tyler Stewart knows he’s going to be a television star. He’s funny, and his uncle Pete is a writer for the most popular show on TV. Best of all, Tyler’s parents have just sent him to visit Pete in Hollywood. Talk about luck—no more of his mom’s worrying and his dad’s instructions, for the rest of his summer vacation. Everyone in show business needs a break, and Tyler is sure this is going to be his.
Now Tyler has two weeks to land an audition and impress the sitcom’s moody star. First he’ll have to learn everything there is to know about life on the set, from navigating the food cart to breaking a story. And that will mean spending as much time as possible at the studio—despite his parents’ objections. With the help of his new friend Samantha, Tyler’s dream just might become a reality. But the road to fame is paved with surprises, and the part of a lifetime is sometimes the one we least expect. . . .
Henry Huggins' dog, Ribsy, is hopelessly lost in a huge shopping mall parking lot. It's raining hard, the pavement is slick, horns are honking, and drivers are shouting. When Ribsy thinks he has found the Huggins's new station wagon at last, he jumps in the open tailgate window and falls asleep, exhausted. When he wakes up to find himself in the wrong car, lots of little girls pet him and make plans to give him a bath. All Ribsy wants to do is go home to Henry. Instead, he's about to begin the liveliest adventure of his life.
When Henry sees a notice for a snowman-building contest, he decides to enter. He, his father, and his dog Mudge join the other contestants, all determined to win the contest. How will Henry and his father make their snowman different from all the others?
A Live Oak Media audio production.
Freddy the Pig needs a break. As Editor of the Bean Home News and President of the First Animal Bank, he has no time for himself anymore. As Freddy says, "I sometimes think I was much happier when I was just a humble, unpolished pig." So when rich Mr. Camphor wants a summer caretaker, Freddy trots right over to apply. Soon, he's sunning himself on a houseboat, writing a bit of poetry, and even dabbling with his paint set. But Freddy's life of ease quickly comes to an end when Simon and the rest of his rat family show up in Mr. Camphor's attic, followed by a visit from a familiar man with a black moustache and his dirty-faced boy. From Freddy Goes to Florida to Freddy and the Ignormus, Walter R. Brooks' Freddy adventures are delighting a whole new generation of readers with John McDonough's charming narration.
