America's 911 system is supposed to be for emergencies only. But some people apparently didn't get the memo, because the following are some of their responses when asked by dispatchers, "What's your emergency?" - "Yeah, I want to order a pizza." - "I've been standing all day and my feet hurt." - "I just swallowed a penny. Am I going to die?" - "I want an officer to come out and take care of a low-flying aircraft." - "When does the Burger King open?" New York Times best-selling author Leland H. Gregory III compiles some of the dumbest and occasionally profane (you've been warned) abuses of the 911 system ever recorded. Danielle Ferland and Andy Paris' amusing narration will have listeners either howling with laughter or scratching their heads in disbelief. Possibly both. Because this book is based on actual 911 calls, there are occasional profane words in the text. The author replaced these words with dashes, and they are bleeped in this recording.
Straight from police blotters across the country, The Stupid Crook Book chronicles idiotic criminals and their foiled attempts to turn a quick buck or cause general mischief. In this hilarious volume, witness stories about dopey crooks such as: - A former convict robs a bar to get cash to feed his drug habit. Unfortunately, he lives above the bar in question, and the victim of his crime-his landlord! - A man is stopped for speeding in Oklahoma and pleads with the officer not to give him a ticket, IF he finds drugs in the car. - A pizza delivery guy is robbed of his pizza by two men-the same two men who called in the pizza order. - A neat-freak thief leaves his personalized shoeshine rag at the scene of the crime. - ... and more! Leland Gregory presents tales of clumsy crooks who are more likely to shoot themselves before getting their guns out. Funny, and kind of sad, The Stupid Crook Book is a treat for young adult listeners.
